Same Love

I came across this marvelous video when I was searching for something that will reignite my soul...

Anik anik

Dahil sa wala akong magawa at maisip...

Bili na kayo ng bahay sa kanya ;)

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Sana gawin din nila ito dito sa Pilipinas :)

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September started with Harry Potted Potter, then followed by Bona, and finally this Sunday we'll watch Phantom of the Opera :) 

Panalangin

Last Sunday, my beau and and I watched this,

I did not expect that the movie is that good and Sam Concepcion is twinky yummy...

images cto google

The script is good, the actors are endearing, the dance choreography is awesome and the Apo songs are spot on.

I really enjoyed watching this musical film. It'll be awesome if they turn this film into a stage musical.  

BekiFlick

I love musicals, rom coms & gay films.

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Yes, I'm still alive :)


   

Auditory Hallucination

Call me maybe is embedded in my ears. I've been waking up with this song playing on my head

Then last Monday I came across with this video ...

I'm infatuated with chestnut hair guy. I just wanna cuddle him, he's adorable!

___________

Yes, I like twinks :) hahaha

Shake It Out

One of the reasons why I donate blood quarterly is the free laboratory exam for infectious diseases. I'm a cheapskate, sue me :)

Last March, I learned that there's a clinic in Manila that gives free testing for people like us. Here's my results...

I went there alone, but I didn't feel scared or anxious. The staffs are friendly and the counselor is not your typical counselor, I felt at home. Talking to the counselor about my sexual history is quite liberating and I learned a lot about myself and HIV/AIDS.

The waiting time is approximately 2 hours because they use both the Rapid and Particle Agglutination HIV tests.Waiting for the result is the most excruciating part of the ordeal but it's worth it because I want to know my status, may it be positive or negative.

Just click this link for more info about RITM Satellite Clinic in Malate.

Know your status, it's time to get tested!

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This song helped me when I took the test and yes I'm enamored with Smash :)

Busy Bee or Lazy Me

Earworm...

Call me, maybe :)

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Here's a rundown of my so called life starting February

February - My English tutor and I met and it went well but due to conflict of schedule we are not able to meet again. My work ate a lot of my time but it seemed like it paid off because my department was nominated for 6 awards and I got 2 nominations, one for social responsibility and the other one is for quality service. My department won the awards but I went home empty handed. I was disappointed because I know that I more than deserve the award but hey that's life. This is the second year in a row that I went home empty handed. Never the bride always the bridesmaid...

For March, I was supposed to take my exams but again I was not able to do that because of 

1.     I'm financially broke and I don't have the money for the exam.

2.     I'm not confident with my speaking skills because I don't have anyone to converse with. I tried talking to my friends in English but they only made fun of me.

3.     I assisted my parents with their executive check-up and that depleted my budget for the exam and for reviewing. I know my parents can pay for their medical bills but I need to shoulder the bills because I feel that it is my responsibility as their son to give back what they've given me when I was still a child. You see, I feel like I'm not a good son because i'm gay and I cannot give them a grandchild. I know this is unreasonable but this is how I feel. They're the best parents and I feel that i don't deserve them because of my sexuality.

Anyway, last April, my papa was hospitalized due to skin abscess and again I shouldered the medical bills. Aside from the abscess he was also diagnosed with prostate cancer. Thank heavens it was caught early and the doctor prescribed him some medicines.

My parents stayed in my condo for 2 weeks and it was both a blessing and a curse. I don't wanna dwell with this so I'll stop here...

Now you're updated. 

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hmm I don't check my grammar when I post my thoughts. I just type what's in my head and click publish. I'm lazy and I know it.

Je suis très désolé pour l'update plus tard!

I am very sorry for the late update. It's not because I'm super busy with my schedule, it's because life is kicking my butt.

So what's the reason why I started posting again?

It's because of him...

I was inspired to write again.

I first met him last year when he was rotated in my department. I have a coordinator who supervises the underlings but every time there was an opportunity to be close to him I always grab it, like being the panel in their journal report and projects. He's smart and good looking, even he's "sungki" is adorable. But even if I have a gargantuan crush on him, I never crossed the line. Not because he's straight but because I don't want to ruin my reputation. 

It's been 2 months since I last saw him and I still have this butterflies inside my tummy every time I see his pictures. 

You never fail to inspire me Marco.

I hope our paths will cross again (hopefully not in my workplace...)

Je t'adore...

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Marco reminds me of my only singer crush Kris Allen, they are both on the vertically challenged side but that doesn't matter because both have an adorable face and a drool worthy physique!

I'm very much infatuated with Marco and Kris Allen. 

Lofty Goals!

Today I'm going to dream BIG!

To realize this dream I will stop my unending ruminations and start working constructively. This post is going to be my roadmap to success.

10 years from now I will own a company that will help institutions achieve top notch occupational health and safety standards.

To finance this dream I need to work abroad and here's my goal for this year

• 1st quarter - Take the TOEFL ibt, It will be a challenge for me to achieve the score of 24. The last time I took the exam I got 23/30 in speaking and 28/30 in the written part. I'm so ashamed of this score but I need to move on. I will swallow my pride and look for a tutor (any recommendations? I just hope that the cost is economical). Target examination date is March 24, 2012
• Start gathering information about credentialing and agencies
• 2nd quarter - while waiting for the result, enroll to a nearby school to earn the units I needed for credentialling.
• File my credentials before my parents go back to US
• 3rd quarter - Review center for State Boards. Target State is Texas. 
• 4th quarter - Pass the state boards.

2013 to 2015 I will start working in Houston, Texas

• Earn and save money (GOAL is to at least earn quarter a million dollar before the end of 2015 - is this realistic? Yes but I need 2 jobs for this lofty goal)
• Get CME units for my future plans
• celebrate every Thanksgiving & Christmas in California with my family
• celebrate New year in Times square with my college classmates based in NY
• Travel the Americas
• Mardi Gras in Brazil
• Macchu Picchu in Peru - I've been dreaming of visiting this ever since High School

2016 - 2020 Change work from Hospital based to Company based

• Earn and save money (Target is a million dollar)
• Gain more experience 
• start my business plan
• networking
• start my dream house by 2017
• Travel to Europe with my parents
• Sagrada Familia in Spain
• Castles, Lochs and Stonehenge in UK anScotland
• Louvre in France
• Beaches in the Mediterranean
• October Fest in Germany

2021 - Back to the Philippines to start my business

• q1 - logistics and train 3 personnel to help with assessment and evaluations
• q2 - acquire clients
• q3 - work work work

2022 - Achieve ROI

I believe that all of these dreams and goals are achievable. Everything is possible.

Today, February 1, 2012 is the start of me achieving, imbibing and living these dreams.

Guilty Pleasure

She's my daily companion when I run...

 Oh la la!
Oh la la!
Hot Couture!
Hot Couture!
Hot Couture!
Hot coutore serving hot couture!
Oh la la!

Put the base in my face
Now I'm ready for the beat
Pink lips hips tits
Honey, tuck away the heat
Lashes on, Fouboutins
And I just blew out my hair
Perfume Trashed room
What 2 Wear?

Let the streets be my runway tonight
In the fashion show we call life
Got this fire burn-burnin inside
And I'm serving! I'm serving

Hot Couture (Im wearing, wearing)
Hot Couture (Supermodel)
Hot Couture (Fierce)
Hot Couture serving hot couture
Oh la la!
Hot Couture (I'm killin', killin')
Hot Couture (Manila)
Hot Couture (WERRK!)
Hot Couture serving hot couture
Oh la la!

Glamour queen, disco scene
Pumpin' in designer shoes
sequins, safety pins
Yeah Manila's got it, boots
Gaultier target
Lookin sick'ning in this dress
Ching chong shut it down
Ovahness

Let the streets be my runway tonight
In the fashion show we call life
Got this fire burn-burnin inside
And I'm serving! I'm serving...

Hot Couture (Im wearing, wearing)
Hot Couture (Supermodel)
Hot Couture (Fierce)
Hot Couture serving hot couture
Oh la la!
Hot Couture (I'm killin', killin')
Hot Couture (Manila)
Hot Couture (WERRK!)
Hot Couture serving hot couture
Oh la la!

Fashion, Clothes
Passion, Pose
Fashion, Clothes
Passion, Pose
Pose...pose...pose...pose...pose...pose...pose...pose!

Hot Couture (Im wearing, wearing)
Hot Couture (Supermodel)
Hot Couture (Fierce)
Hot Couture serving hot couture
Oh la la!
Hot Couture (I'm killin', killin')
Hot Couture (Manila)
Hot Couture (WERRK!)
Hot Couture serving hot couture
Oh la la!

Captivating Sight!

We first met a couple of months ago, during a workshop somewhere in Manila. The workshop constitute of 18 individuals from different walks of life. The common denominator is, we are all gay and we want to help.

At first, I was not that captivated with him but last weekend was a revelation.


Please note that my relationship status is a common knowledge in our group and I behaved demurely during the workshop and the whole weekend. 'di ako malandi, nasa loob lang ang kulo ;) 


I was late for our workshop. He was in the opposite side of our circle and sitting with the group that is secretly enamored with him. At first I was disappointed because I'm not seated with their group, but the universe was conspiring with me because we were randomly partnered for the workshop and he was also my "dorm mate" for the weekend. 

J is about 5'7 and weights approximately 125 to 130 lb, fair skinned with no visible pock marks. Hairstyle is clean cut (he claimed that he cut his hair with the help of his mom). He's physique is like a runner - lean and wiry (redundant!).

The feature that made me awestruck is his pert glutes. I was thunderstruck when I saw his gray clad buttocks after our shower together (Yup I need to write that down, twas a surreal experience - we're talking about the characteristics of men that we want to date while lathering our sinewy bodies - my first time). I was not expecting a glorious sight because he's skinny, but heavens! those gluteals are so gloriously shaped. Those muscular globes conjures volumes of lusty thoughts. Words is not enough to describe his magnificent ass. It's almost like this...

 image from google

but lovelier and perkier ;)

J is a perfect specimen of a Chinese twink, lean, cute and nerdy ( I admire guys with spectacles!) , a deadly combination.  

Can't wait to see him again ;)

Coming clean

There are three reasons why I started blogging.

The top reason is to have an anonymous diary where I can expose my hidden desires...

Speaking of desires, one of my desires is to feel a turgid member in my all willing ass.

Background...

I'm in a 5 year (almost) 6 year exclusive/monogamous relationship and 99% of the time I'm the one who drills my partner. 

At first, I relish the experience but now I want to feel what he's feeling. 

I tried so many times to fulfill this desire but my partner's member is not willing and to be quite frank, for 67 months that we've been together I've only seen him hard every early morning and rarely during coitus. He's a great lover but I cannot replicate what he's doing to me because his member is not cooperative. This one of the reasons why I have so many insecurities. 

When we talked about this problem, he told me that it's just the way he is. I settled for this answer and I didn't probe because It's to embarrassing and I'm also afraid of his answer.  

Another desire of mine is to prolong my state of arousal. To be quite frank, I'm very easy to please in bed. just play with my nips, lick my back (not necessarily my buttocks but I also like that) and I'm ready to go. The problem lies with my ejaculation. This is very embarrassing, but to hell with it, nobody knows me here, it's 2 words, premature ejaculation. The longest time I tried not to burst my seed is 20 minutes tops and the fastest is at least 5 minutes. I tried to desensitize, meaning, masturbation until I'm ready to burst but before I go over the edge I stop and think about not sexy stuff - i.e. changing my grandma's diaper - to avoid spilling my seeds. This didn't work, because I don't have enough self discipline to stop playing with myself.

Thinking about gross stuff kinda helped but when I tried this with my partner, when I stopped humping him and start thinking about the grossest thing that I can think off, and just laid on top of him, I still went over the edge. On second thought, if I tried to pleasure him instead of just laying on top of him, maybe that will stop my ejaculation... but what's the use of playing with his phallus if it's not responsive with my ministrations? 

We both have problems and I don't know if our love for each other is enough to get over these sexual dilemma. 

I don't know until when can I stop myself from cheating.

These conundrums needs a separate post...

Anyway, I don't wanna dwell with my sexual frustrations, back to my original thought...

The second reason is to improve my English writing skills.

My vocabulary is good but my grammar is atrocious and it shows. I always cringe when I read the things that I write because I know that it's not as polish as what I want them to be. I love feedback but I learned from Mugen that it's a blogger faux pas to critique a post. I don't have the cash to enroll in an English class and reading/writing is the cheapest way to improve my English communication skills.

The last reason for creating this blog is to earn money by selling my gay themed books. My idea was to feature a book that I'm going to sell by writing a review. This fizzled out because it's very difficult to write a review. 

So there, I've written every thing and I have nothing to hide...

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Thank heavens for anonymity!