Wednesday, December 28, 2011

'Eka elrun ono wiol förn thornessa'

Just finished reading this...

image courtesy of google

Book 4 of the Inheritance cycle.

My love affair with Inheritance cycle started 8 years ago when I met Eragon, a young lad who found a blue stone that turned out to be a dragon egg. 

image courtesy of google

The movie version is not as good as the book but the actor who played Eragon is drool worthy...

image courtesy of google

Book 2, Eldest is also a very good read. This time it's Roran's turn to shine, he's the cousin of Eragon.

image courtesy of google

Book 3 , Brisngr is supposed to be the last book but the author changed his mind, which is very fortunate because the story became more complex and riveting mainly due to Murtagh...

                                                               image courtesy of google

I read 2000+ pages and it was worth it. 

'Eka elrun ono Martian wiol förn thornessa' - Ancient language that means Thank you Martian for this gift. 

I'm a nerd!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Love makes a family

It's been a very trying month for me and this video helped alleviate my sadness.

3 years of spending the holidays alone is taxing.

I miss my family and I'm hoping that by next Christmas I'll be with them.

Christmas Wish
1. To find a workplace where I can spread my rainbow wings without fear.
2. To find a work that is both challenging and financially rewarding.


It's time to re assess and evaluate my professional vitae.

I've been in this very conservative company for 5 years and I achieved the highest position that I can have 3 years ago. I served the institution well and it's now time to look for more challenging and profitable venture.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Piolo, KC and Adele

This video gave new meaning to my favorite Adele song, Set fire to the rain. I felt my piloerector muscle stiffen when I viewed the video above, it reminded me of the Piolo - KC - Macmac controversy.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Random musings

Eating alone is depressing... Thank heavens there's free wifi and unfinished paperwork...


My emo moment is alleviated by this clip. Inspiring!

Spread the love!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Sharing My Blessings

A couple of days ago a distraught female came to my office looking for someone who could donate blood.

Her husband needs type A blood and we have the same type.

I looked at her worried face and I decided right there and then that I'll donate my blood.

my colleagues took a picture of me during extraction...

After 20 minutes I'm done. I went back to my office and resumed work. 

Benefits of Donating 
  • It feels great to donate!
  • You get free juice or bottled water and crackers (I chose bottled water because I'm on strict diet) 
  • It's something you can spare  most people have blood to spare... yet, there is still not enough to go around.
  • You will help ensure blood is on the shelf when needed  most people don't think they'll ever need blood, but many do.
  • You will be someone's hero  in fact, you could help save more than one life with just one donation.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Ramblings and Foolishness

I wish I have a camera, I wanna capture this vista...

 the sky is changing it's color, it's dusk... 

Majestic comes to my mind... 

Don't know why...

I'll describe what I'm seeing... 

The shadow of boats and vintas sailing, dusty colors of the sky that ranges from the color gray to red, dusky violet to orange, grayish orange, sky blue that reminds me of mother Mary. 

Feathery grey clouds outlined with dark Grayish orange panorama, twinkling stars,bleeping lights.. 

In the background, sound of waves crashing the shores, the high pitched voice of swimming children, couples, group of friends sitting on the shoreline whispering... Talking... Music playing. 

What's missing? Words are not enough to describe the things that I'm seeing and the emotions that plays with my heart and thoughts that's running in my head. 

Sadness, envy, yearning, sliver of contentment, snippet of happiness... 

A whole gamut of emotions running through my mind, heart and soul.

Wishing for someone to come by, start a conversation.... Sigh... 

I wanna go to a dark spot, lie down and view the skies, figure out the constellations...


It's twilight and I will challenge myself today. 

I'm going to talk to a stranger before going to sleep. 

This is my last night here... 

Hmm I feel like a predator.... 


My mind is telling me to not get through this insane challenge... 

but my longing for company is stronger...

Trying to scan the crowd looking for someone to talk to... 

I'm not good at this...  

How about talking to a group, that's less threatening... 

But how to start a conversation? 

Looking for a "prey"... Shocks I feel like I'm a lecherous old guy preying the young and the innocent.... 

Can I choose female? 

Yep, I know it defeats the point. 

I'm scared of making conversations with men so I need to talk to a man and swallow my fear... 

It all boils down to confidence, am I confident? Do I have the guts to do this?

I think I have...


there's no prospect here...

Maybe I need Change location...

Closer to the shore, maybe I'll have more luck... I'm crazy!

This is not working, It's almost 22:00...

It's not my lucky night...

hmmm Contemplating about taking a dip... Skinny dipping...

Give me a second I
I need to get my story straight
My friends are in the bathroom
getting higher than the empire state
my lover she's waiting for me
just across the bar
My seats been taken by some sunglasses
asking 'bout a scar
and I know I gave it to you months ago
I know you're trying to forget
but between the drinks and subtle things
the holes in my apologies
you know I'm trying hard to take it back
so if by the time the bar closes
and you feel like falling down
I'll carry you home 

We are young
So let's set the world on fire
We can burn brighter 
than the sun

we are young
so let's set the world on fire
we can burn brighter
than the sun

Now I know that I'm not
all that you got
I guess that I
I just thought maybe we could find a ways to fall apart
But are friends in back
So let's raise a cup
Cause I found someone to carry me home 

We are young
So let's the set the world on fire
we can burn brighter
than the sun

We are young
so let's set the world on fire
we can burn brighter
than the sun

Carry me home tonight
Just carry me home tonight
Carry me home tonight
Just carry me home tonight

The world is on my side
I have no reason to run
So will someone come and carry me home tonight
The angels never arrived
but I can hear the choir
so will someone come and carry me home 

We are young
So let's set the world on fire
we can burn brighter
than the sun

We are young
so let's set the world on fire
we can burn brighter
than the sun

So if by the time the bar closes
and you feel like falling down
I'll carry you home tonight 


As of 23:00 I was not able to accomplish my challenge of talking to a stranger but I was able to skinny dip ;)

Monday, November 7, 2011


I am changing.

My metamorphosis started when I drastically changed my diet and exercise habit.

That was first week of October and my goal was to achieve my former weight of 144 lb.

I was 155 lb when I started my "lemon diet".

But instead of using the pictured ingredients (above) for lemon diet, I used calamansi extract, cayenne pepper and organic honey. My ingredients are more economical and it's available in a nearby puregold grocery.

The lemon or Calamansi's purpose is to cleanse our body with toxins, the honey will provide the needed nutrients and the dash of pepper will help curve your appetite.

Here's my procedure in mixing this concoction;
1. Mix 2 teaspoons of honey (I used palawan honey) with a lukewarm water (500 ml)
2. Squeeze 4 pieces of calamansi or 1 whole lemon.
3. Put a dash of cayenne pepper (I used mccormick - dalawang tak-tak lang because this is too spicy)
4. Drink the concoction immediately. You don't want the lemon or calamansi extract to oxidize because it will lose it's potency. Scientific literature's claims that oxidation process starts immediately after slicing the lemon/calamansi and the author of this diet advised to drink the concoction not more than 10 seconds after preparation.

The effect is you'll be using the loo an hour after ingesting this concoction.

Together with aerobic exercise, I ran 30 minutes a day, losing 1000+ calories the first week, 1500+ calories the second week and 2000 calories for the third week using the office treadmill (rainy days) and running from my place to CCP (that's approximately 8 miles) on clear days.

healthy diet - a cup of rice or any carbs a day with 1 fruit and 1 serving of viand.

and the concoction, I lose 10 lb in 3 weeks.

Currently, I'm maintaining my weight by eating healthy and regular exercise.

This is the reason why I changed my profile pic from this,

Chrolli of Verbotene Liebe (this another story)

To this,
 my new/old physique, taken in Coron, Palawan (Camera shy talaga ako hehehe)

I regained my physique 2 weeks ago and the next stage of my transformation came this weekend and it's about my negative self image

That's another story to tell...

Beso beso

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Bothered and Bewildered

I can't sleep...

I'm blaming these hot girls....

My loins are stirred into frenzy...

I can't help touching my turgid member...

This is utter madness...

Hopefully after releasing my pent up sexual energy...

I can now go to sleep.


Sunday, October 23, 2011


Last Friday I know that my colleagues prepared something for me, a surprise hatch day celebration.

I don't wanna ruin their efforts so I acted what they want me to act.

I should feel something... happy,

but I don't feel happy,

I feel hollow

I don't feel sad or happy...

From a psychiatrist point of view, this is a sign of clinical depression...

But I know I am not depress, I'm just built this way.

Every time October comes, I feel this way.

Can't wait fir this month to be over...

I just need to fake it until it's over...

Monday, October 10, 2011


Habang ang mga tao ay nanunuod nito...

Ako'y nakikipag rubbing elbows sa mga shala sa RCBC Plaza dahil dito...

The first time na nakapanuod ako ng musical sa RCBC Plaza ay noong ipinalabas ang ZsaZsa Zaturnah.

Ngayon social climbing mode nanaman ako. This event is organized by a group of Psychiatrists from MMC. Di po ako patient, plus 1 ako ng isang kaibigan. (defensive ba?)

This Pulitzer Prize & Tony Award - winning musical about a dysfunctional family trying to survive each day is carried by a strong and engaging cast of characters.

A bipolar mother, a resentful daughter, a mysterious son and a father that tries to hold this family together.

The bipolar mother, Diana is played by Menchu Lauchengco-Yulo, she gave a powerful performance and made the audience laugh and cry.

Jett Pangan played Dan, the father who has beautiful character development that goes from a man trying to be strong enough to hold his family to a broken grieving father.

Gabe, the son is played by Felix Herrera - he seduce you with his charm - lalo na sa shirtless scene ;) - naging  earworm sa akin ang song niyang "I'm Alive," --- wala akong makitang picture niya :(

Bea Garcia as the daughter Natalie, has a clear beautiful voice. She grabbed my attention when she sang "The Invisible Girl", naka relate ako.

Siempre di ko makakalimutan si Markki Stroem ang pothead na love interest ni Natalie.

Drs. Fine and Madden is played by Jake Macapagal. The scene where the Dr became a rock star during Diana's hallucination is so hilarious.

The cast are so good that you can feel raw emotions through their songs.

Being normal is overrated.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Oplan Bawas Timbang

I was watching Franklin & Bash yesterday and I was struck by the line by Peter Bash "this is my temple" while pointing at his physique.

This year I became lackadaisical with my health and physique and as expected I gained 10 pounds of fat and not so good cholesterol level.

It's very hard to avoid fried food and meat because I rarely eat vegetables.

Last week, inulanan ako ng pangungutya when a friend uploaded some old pictures in FB (2 year old pictures).

Back then, small size pa ang shirt ko and I buy clothes sa teen section.

Ngayon medium size na ako, di na makabili sa teen section ng mall at kahugis ko na daw ang fez nito..

Ang lapad na daw ng fez ko at di na ako kahalihalina katulad ng dati.

I know I need to improve my diet and be more consistent with my exercise regimen.

Seeing those pictures and hearing those comments strengthened my resolve to eat right and to be vigilant with my exercise.

Last Monday I weigh 153 lb.

I'm 5'7 and the ideal weight for my height is 145 lb (though my BMI is still within normal limit). 

5 days ago I started my new eating habit and cardio exercise and I'm quite happy with the results. My goal for this week is to burn 1000 calories. I know this is minuscule, I don't wanna strain myself too much.

I achieved this weeks goal, tumakbo ako ng approximately 8 miles (2 miles a day) and nakapag burn ako ng 1106 calories.  Nabawasan din ang weight ko ng 3 lb.

Next week goal is to burn 1500 calories, to run 10 miles and to include weight training - thank heavens my multi gym kami sa work, gyms are too expensive for me.

Guys suggest naman kayo ng weight training regimen. Below is a picture of our multi-gym;

Nagpapasalamat na ako ng advance sa mga tutulong =>  ibibigay ko ang aking puri sa mga tutulong sa akin na ma achieve ang ideal weight ko. CHAR!

For home exercise naman, saan kaya ako pwedeng makabili ng equipmernts ng gaya ng nasa video...

Award di ba? I like the shaker thing, nakaka... =>


Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Childhood Melody

When I was a little boy, I am required to accompany my parents to the town ba-ile (dance) and the orchestra always play this song. The memory of the full moon casting it's ethereal glow to my dancing parents in our town plaza is embedded to my psyche. 

Naraniag a Bulan

O naraniag a bulan

Un-unnoyko’t indengam
Dayta nasellag a silaw mo
Dika kad ipaidam
O naraniag a bulan
Sangsangitko indengam
Toy nasipnget a lubongko
Inka kad silawan
Tapno diak mayaw-awan
No inka nanglipaten
Karim kaniak naumagen
Samsam-itek ni patay
O bulan ket aklunem
Nanglaylay toy ayatkon
Inka kadi palasbangem
Un-unnoyko, danasem nga ikeddeng

Ilocano novelty song

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Romantic Liaisons

A blogger friend (Hi Zai!) asked me about my previous relationships and that got me thinking about my lamentable love life (char!).

A song by Eric Benet sums up my love story 

The first time I fell in love was long ago. 
I didn't know how to give my love at all.

My first gay romance was memorable.

We've been acquaintances/classmates for a year, friends for 2 years and lovers for a month.

The relationship didn't work out because of me -I didn't know how to give my love...

but the thing that I remembered the most is our break up.

He used an unforgettable, plagiarized break up line (hmmm lingering bitterness?)

"I'm sorry I can't Don't hate me..."

Yup he used that line and to make things more memorable, I received this break up notice by text message.

It was a gamut of emotions, I was like Carrie ...

Anyway, let's go back to my song...

The next time I settled for what felt so close. 
But without romance, you're never gonna fall.

My next relationship was due to hormones.

He's gorgeous, half Norwegian - tall, lean and young, just like him

The coitus (or copulation) experience is unmatched, it was the first time that my phallus erupted without touching.

After 3 fortnights of dating, my raging hormones subsided and I called it quits.

Sex is good and he's definitely an arm candy

but I need romance and love.

Hopefully the next time I fall in love is the last...

One of my favorite romantic songs... 
It's late and I can't sleep, I've been planning to post an article about my Pedring experience but I can't find the appropriate picture. Maybe next time...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


I'm moved by this guy's coming out story. I've been following his journey in youtube.

Coming out is a never ending process. In this aspect the hets are lucky, they don't need to come out...

When I'm still in grade school, I know I'm different and I'm gay but back then bakla is synonymous to being a loud, in your face effeminate who works in parlors and pays for sex. I don't want to be like them. When kids my age started noticing and teasing me about my effeminacy, I changed, I tried my best to act more manly by modulating my voice, changing the way I walk and I started courting girls. The teasing stopped but my self hatred started. I became a recluse. I rarely go out with my classmates and my only comfort is my room and my computer. I don't wanna mingle with people because I don't want them to discover that i'm different, a freak.

I became a loner from high school to college. I did my best to avoid associating with gay men and women. I avoided gay people like a plague and I used girlfriends as beards.

My denial stopped when I'm in my 4th year of college. It's been a year since my "ex gf" broke up with me and my friends are starting to notice my disinterest in females. Back then I feel that I don't have a choice but to find a naive girl that I can pose as my girlfriend. I courted a girl named Chelle and after a grueling courtship, we became an item. As our relationship progress my respect for her deepened and my conscience can no longer bear my despicable deception. I told Michelle my deepest darkest secret, I told her I'm gay. Michelle did not hate me after the revelation but I avoided her because of my shameful behavior. Michelle is the epitome of grace and forgiveness, she reached out for me even though I hurt her so bad. Gradually we build a strong bond of friendship. She's still in denial about my sexuality. Whenever I told her about my man crushes or my relationships, she just smiles and tells me that she's praying for my enlightenment.

Family Dynamics - I came out first to my sister. We talked about my sexual exploits in our neighborhood. We became closer after that. When I asked her advice on how to come out to my parents. She told me to never come out to my parents because it'll just bring them heartache. I did not heed her advice, I told my mom about my sexuality and she cried and made me swear to never tell my dad about my sexuality. I never told my dad about my sexual orientation but I know that he suspects. My mom still wants me to marry a nice girl. I just smile whenever she tries to match me with female acquaintances or when she asks me when will I give her grandchildren.

In my workplace, my colleagues and subordinates know my sexual orientation. I told them from the very beginning that I'm gay. My colleagues advice me to be less upfront with my sexuality because we're in a religious institution. I'm living a double life, outside our section, I have a (fictional) girlfriend and we're planning to get married soon while in my section I'm the dependable guy who is gay.

I love Adele =>