Ladlad

I'm moved by this guy's coming out story. I've been following his journey in youtube.

Coming out is a never ending process. In this aspect the hets are lucky, they don't need to come out...

When I'm still in grade school, I know I'm different and I'm gay but back then bakla is synonymous to being a loud, in your face effeminate who works in parlors and pays for sex. I don't want to be like them. When kids my age started noticing and teasing me about my effeminacy, I changed, I tried my best to act more manly by modulating my voice, changing the way I walk and I started courting girls. The teasing stopped but my self hatred started. I became a recluse. I rarely go out with my classmates and my only comfort is my room and my computer. I don't wanna mingle with people because I don't want them to discover that i'm different, a freak.

I became a loner from high school to college. I did my best to avoid associating with gay men and women. I avoided gay people like a plague and I used girlfriends as beards.

My denial stopped when I'm in my 4th year of college. It's been a year since my "ex gf" broke up with me and my friends are starting to notice my disinterest in females. Back then I feel that I don't have a choice but to find a naive girl that I can pose as my girlfriend. I courted a girl named Chelle and after a grueling courtship, we became an item. As our relationship progress my respect for her deepened and my conscience can no longer bear my despicable deception. I told Michelle my deepest darkest secret, I told her I'm gay. Michelle did not hate me after the revelation but I avoided her because of my shameful behavior. Michelle is the epitome of grace and forgiveness, she reached out for me even though I hurt her so bad. Gradually we build a strong bond of friendship. She's still in denial about my sexuality. Whenever I told her about my man crushes or my relationships, she just smiles and tells me that she's praying for my enlightenment.

Family Dynamics - I came out first to my sister. We talked about my sexual exploits in our neighborhood. We became closer after that. When I asked her advice on how to come out to my parents. She told me to never come out to my parents because it'll just bring them heartache. I did not heed her advice, I told my mom about my sexuality and she cried and made me swear to never tell my dad about my sexuality. I never told my dad about my sexual orientation but I know that he suspects. My mom still wants me to marry a nice girl. I just smile whenever she tries to match me with female acquaintances or when she asks me when will I give her grandchildren.

In my workplace, my colleagues and subordinates know my sexual orientation. I told them from the very beginning that I'm gay. My colleagues advice me to be less upfront with my sexuality because we're in a religious institution. I'm living a double life, outside our section, I have a (fictional) girlfriend and we're planning to get married soon while in my section I'm the dependable guy who is gay.

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I love Adele =>