Lovestruck Idiot

 Dear Moi,

It's 2017 and my staff and I were facebooktigating an orientee. He's cute and we think that he's gay. We learned that he joined the pride march. Confirmed!

After a few months, I got bored and opened the g app. I saw a familiar beauty mark and immediately referred to my staff confirming my suspicions. We started chatting, leading to him visiting my unit and kissing. No hooking up just seeing each other and flirting for a couple of months. I encouraged him to get tested and unfortunately, he's reactive. 

I feel that this situation started my investment in this relationship. I promised to be with him and not leave him, but then I learned that he was still with the boyfriend. I felt betrayed and tried to forget him because I didn't want to be the other guy. He told me that their relationship was struggling and leading to a break-up. 

I tried not to get entangled and ensure that he got the right treatment. Helped him with further tests and medications. I encouraged him to disclose his condition to his boyfriend and he claimed he did. Eventually, he informed me that he ended his relationship and wanted me to be his partner, which was February 2018. 

I asked him to cohabitate so that he could save more money and time from commuting from north to south. He began to live with me. It was fun and a relief because now I can finally have someone to love and someone who loves me. 

I promised him that I would not change, from accompanying him going back north and picking him up every Sunday. I promised him a lot of firsts, boarding a plane, dining in hotels, and a lot more. I consulted him about having a pet cat and we had Sheldon followed by Geordie, and finally Kahel.

The pandemic came and I was thankful that he was there. I did not feel alone until I got infected. his first reaction is "Paano ako?" that I need to be admitted because of his condition being immunocompromised. Understanding his condition, I got admitted and that was the worst day of my life. What helped me cope was the video calls of my mom, sister, and him taking care of the cats. 

Rekindling my passion

Dear Moi,

It's been quite a while since my last post.

In 2017 I told my administrators I wanted to be part of their postgraduate course program. I became proactive because I want to be considered the successor of a director. I finished my postgraduate course and thought I was on track for the directorship but the pandemic happened and the position was left vacant and eventually given to someone. I was given another position that was not at the same level as the one I aimed for but accepted because it is also part of my professional growth (I am annoyed with Grammarly, I'm not aiming for perfect grammar, I just want to put this out there). This decision led me to where I am now, taking up a juris doctor degree.

When the scholarship was offered to me, my first reaction was, why would I make my life complicated? This was also offered to my boyfriend (now my ex) and when he agreed, I also agreed because I was afraid that he would meet someone and leave me. Yup, I am an insecure and foolish man but my instinct was correct. He left me after 2 years in law school and that's another story.

I am now at a crossroads. Will I still pursue law or take a leave of absence. I feel that I will need fortitude to continue this path.